The Keep is part of a series of tidbits from the chapters of my book Bars, Taverns and Dives New Yorkers Love, published by Rizzoli. You can order it from Powell’s, Amazon, Rizzoli, and Barnes & Noble. Signed prints of all the bars in the book are available here.

Your eyes adjust to the soft lights of the large room, and you begin to notice what you smell: hundreds of old things, treasures and curiosities, on the walls, on shelves, on the floors. Things to look at, things to touch, things to sit on. It’s like a fantastic antique shop with a full bar run by an Edward Gorey character. Or maybe a long-forgotten alternate set for the old Addams Family TV show. The Keep has sexy-funky red velvet flock velour style.

Sit down, look around, and take it in: Faded red Radio Flyer “hot rods” that you wish you had when you were a kid. Gothic-looking birdcages, creaky old perambulators, vaguely funereal dried flowers, spooky dolls, Edison phonographic cylinders in canisters with Thomas himself smiling out from the labels. A fancy spoon collection hanging in a dark wooden display rack, a mysterious plaque that reads “1942,” a model ship surrounded by legal tender, a sign advertising DRUGS and SUNDRIES, a busted bust whose face belies the pain, oh, the pain…. A miniature Pee-Wee Herman sitting casually next to a stuffed fox twice his size, a human skull, a desiccated alligator head, a tiny fat man in a black suit trapped forever beneath a bell jar. A copper lion’s head frozen in a never-ending growl, a perplexed-looking stuffed… ferret (I think), a couple mysterious dark globes, several lanterns, a bunch of rusty tricycles, and a little reproduction of contender Luis Firpo knocking the champ Jack Dempsey clean out of the ring, as originally painted by George Wesley Bellows in 1924.

And that’s just some of the stuff above the bar alone. Multiply that by 30 or 40 or maybe 100 and you’ll get an idea of the abundance at The Keep, none of it junk. It’s all thoughtfully chosen and tastefully weird.

Best Times to Visit The Keep:

Sunday afternoon, or any night when something wonderful is happening, which is roughly every night. They host live nightly DJs like Shakey and Illexxandra, $mall¢hange, DJ Baby K, JoroBoro, Nappy G, Spliffington & TriceCat, and Justin Case, to name a few. Then there are occasional events like the Thrift ON! clothing swap parties, Film Noir nights, Drunk Yoga on Saturday mornings, Séance Sundays, and Tarot readings by folks like Darcy Leonard of the Tarot Society.

Bonus: on Sundays when the weather’s warm and they’re grilling out back, enjoy a complimentary hot dog, burger or sausage with every drink you buy. Just be sure to tip the grill guy. (Karma comes back, man.)

Next up:

Joyce’s Tavern of Eltingville, Staten Island — a very Irish (and very beloved) local family-owned pub and another chapter of my book Bars, Taverns and Dives New Yorkers Love, which you can order right here. Limited-edition signed prints of the bars are available here.