Quick note here for those of you headed down to the Village for tonight’s crazy-ass NYC Halloween parade: good luck. That crowd is absolutely bananas, a regulah sea of yoomanity, and as it runs up Sixth Avenue from Spring Street to 16th, you’ll be stuck on one side or the other for the duration. You’re on the west side of Sixth and your pals on on the east? Yeah, you’re taking the long way to meet them, OR, you can plan ahead, be on the same side, then have a cozy haven where you can meet up before, during or after the madness. And this is where I can help.

I love the Village. I love the little neighborhood joints that are still around. I dig the tourist buzz and the student vibe, and I really appreciate having a port in the storm for a big, wacky event like the NYC Halloween parade. Here are a few suggestions, divided into east and west of Sixth Avenue.

EAST

• Mona’s (224 Avenue B near 14th St.) All-round perfect old East Village dive, and far enough from the action to enjoy their fine tunes and cheap drinks in (relative) peace.
• The Knickerbocker (33 University Place at 9th St.) You’ve never been here, but go. Charming little old-school bar and grill with a chill clientele. Near the madness, but not of the madness.
• McSorley’s (15 E. 7th St. near 3rd Ave.) Can’t go wrong here, unless you want something other than light or dark beer. It’ll be rowdy, but probably far enough from the fray to not be completely overrun.
• Tile Bar (115 1st Ave. at 7th St.) Another place you’ve never been, but you should check out. Accessible, unfussy corner bar with cheap drinks and a cool, local EV clientele.
• Vol de Nuit (148 W. 4th St. at 6th Ave.) Hidden gem of a Belgian beer bar/lounge that will delight the eyes as well as the palate. Yes, it’ll be crowded, so be in the mood or be elsewhere.

WEST

• Ear Inn (326 Spring St. near Washington) A classic, and probably the most beloved bar in Manhattan. (Back off; I’ve done the research). Always a delight, every night.
• WXOU Radio Bar (558 Hudson St. near Perry) An excellent, few-frills locals’ bar in the touristy West Village. Great crowd of regulars, fine jukebox, good prices. You’ll dig it.
• Corner Bistro (331 W. 4th St. at 8th Ave.) Corner Village classic two big blocks off the NYC Halloween parade route. You need food? Yes, you do, and the burger here is one of the city’s favorites.
• Johnny’s Bar (90 Greenwich Ave. at 12th St.) You haven’t been here either, but fix that, because this is a skinny, old, perfect NYC dive with character, characters and cheap drinks. Nuff said.
• The Rusty Knot (425 West St. at 11th) A tastefully-appointed “dive,” this west-west-West Village joint will be hoppin,’ but not too hoppin’ for you to enjoy the rec-room vibe, slushy drinks and free jukebox.