Pull up a cinderblock, there, sonny and I’ll tell ye a tale of days gone by. Days when Chicago still smelt of embers from the Great Fire. Times when a man had to pick up a 23-pound telly-phone receiver  just to call the blacksmith to whip up a new set of shoes for his girlfriend. Why, back then we wore green neckties with our leopard skin onesies and drove our cars barefoot-style like ol’ Fred Flintstone hisself. Etc., etc.

Back in the ’90s I lived in Chicago and worked with a guy named Andrew putting out an alternative (read: FREE!) comic monthly, circulation of about 30,000. What fun. Really! And I drew a lot of the ads. A LOT of the ads.

Yesterday I moved a bunch of stuff out of storage, and found a stash of those old ads. The original art. Some were dashed-off dreck, but many were kinda fun, exhibiting verve and wit. Here are two I did for a place called University Computers. It was in the Hyde Park neighborhood, a couple blocks from the UC main campus. They were early-era computer geeks who seemed to have fun running this funky little Mac support place on 57th. Now it’s a branch of the Hyde Park Bank and Trust. T’ings, dey change.

But they bought a couple ads in our little paper (more on that another time, perhaps), and wanted to have some yuks. When I asked what they wanted in the ad (details? specials? boastful copy regarding their astonishing technical prowess?), all they said was: “I know what, man! Do a movie parody like Mad magazine!” The result was an extremely compact, absurd take-off on the then-popular movie “Indecent Proposal,” wherein a very old-looking (to me, anyway) Robert Redford offers Woody Harrelson (of Cheers fame) a million bucks for a night with his wife, Demi Moore. Woody, after much introspective furrowing-of-the-brow and montage-y background music, takes the deal. Hey, he needed the money. For some reason, after the deal is closed, Woody and Demi buy a hippopotomus. (You tell me.) Here’s “Imbecilic Proposal” (with a cameo by Rhea Perlman).

The computer guys were delighted. The next “ish” (as we say in the “biz”) they wanted another ad. Again, cliental direction was vague. I think it was “Hey, man! You know what you should DO?? Do something about Star Trek!” Fortunately I was nards-deep in my adoration of The Next Generation and whipped up a fun little ad, “Trekkor Laffs.” Why did I say “Trekkor” instead of “Trekkie,” and especially why did I spell it with an “-or?” Well, someone (a girl, I think. A nerdy, nerdy girl.) had just mentioned that that was what they (the Trekkies) were going with right then, as their preferred moniker. I think it never quite caught on, like “Afro-American” or Zima. Anyway, enjoy, me little droogies!